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This is a blog about a team of 6 high performance North Atlantic Audi Club driving instructors and their entry into the 24 hours of LeMONs race series. It follows the team from their application through the adventures they encounter during preparation, racing and the aftermath.

24 Hours of LeMONS Loudon Annoying 2012 Results

Team Electile Dysfunction finished the race above 500

Plagued by two day one gremlins which caused the team to start almost one hour after the official start in 72nd position out of 75 cars. The team then lost another hour on Saturday do to a leak. In spite of the issues the team kept their spirits high and drove cleanly, smoothly and with intensity to finish in 31st place. The team is looking forward to another 24 Hours of LeMONS race.

The Checkered Flag

The Checkered Flag signaling the end of the Loudon Annoying Race

Complete Loudon Annoying 2012 Finishers Results Listing.

Complete break down of results by the hour.

A few other notable results including the overall winner according to the official 24 Hours of LeMONs website:

  • Winner on Laps #106 Bill Danger and the Road Hazzards (1989 Honda Accord, Boston)
  • Winner on Index of Effluency #90 Speedycop & The Gang of Outlaws (1996 Suzuki X-90, Brandywine MD)
  • Winner, Class A (The Good) #15 Booby Prize Racing (1997 Nissan 240sx, Buffaloish NY)
  • Winner, Class B (The Bad) #106 Bill Danger and the Road Hazzards (1989 Honda Accord, Boston)
  • Winner, Class C (The Ugly) #917 PunisherGP (1989 Peugeot 405 Mi16, South Salem NY)
  • Organizer’s Choice #5 Team Mean Girls (1997 Honda Civil, Groton CT)
  • Most Heroic Fix #121 Back To the Future in a VW (87 VW Scirocco, Tewksbury MA)
  • Judges’ Choice #16 Chev-itte Where The Sun Don’t Shine (1986 Chevrolet Chevette, Hebron CT)
  • I Got Screwed #944 Got Wood? (1986 Porsche 944, Pelham NH)
  • Ted Kennedy “I Wish My Car Was a Boat” Award #91 Volvo Vikings (1995 Volvo 850, Rocky Hill)

Check out Team Electile Dysfunction pictures on Pinterest.

Check out Loudon Annoying pictures on Facebook

Check out Jay Lamm’s Loudon Annoying LeMONS Wrapup…Includes video commentary  of the race winners and penalties awards.

Racing App and Carticipate

Example Race Monitor information on the iPhone

RaceMonitor, by Karting Coach, is an app which is used by race organizers to provide live stats; timing and scoring to race teams and spectators. We used the app during the Loudon Annoying, 24 Hours of LeMONs race.  By toggling through the app we were able to view our overall standings and our place in class. The app also provided the unique and wacky Lemons team names, the last lap time, the fastest lap time and fastest lap for each team. There are sort functions to allow users to sort racers by position or time.  The app is currently available on the iPhone, Window7 or Android phones, they are working on a BlackBerry version. When at a track the app only works if the race organizer has selected this Race Monitor platform for providing timing. RaceMonitor provides a flyer template to enable race organizers to promote the RMonitor service. The flyer includes QRcodes for each phone to simplify the user experience in accessing the app. Scan the QR code and for iPhone it opens the App Store to the Race Monitor for downloading. For the 24 Hour of Lemons race, the race organizers used the app, they are not associated with the developer, and they use it to get the race info out. As a user of the app I think it is a great tool.

Carticipate is a rideshare application for the iPhone and social network which connects commuters.  The app enables those in need of a ride to connect to those offering rides. The app is available in the United States and Europe. This app has the ability to reduce carbon output and help people save money while providing an alternative means of transportation. This service can be used near where you live to provide a means to commute to/from work, or for the more daring to catch a ride while traveling in another city for business or pleasure. A bit like electronic hitchhiking…fun and exciting but how safe? (Briggs & Lampton). There are a few customer reviews on the itunes app site; one user was skeptical, but pleasantly surprised at how the app worked and is lowering their carbon footprint. Location-based smart phones and social networks enable this service to help people find rides on short notice.  A traffic analytic of unique visitors for the June to Sept of 2011, showed over 800 visitors. (Carticipate)

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A day at the races: 24 Hours of LeMONs – Loudon Annoying 2012

Day One Living up to its name Electile Dysfunction

Saturday morning the ED Jetta is nestled and waiting for drivers in Garage 6. The drivers arrive and begin the race day preparation.

Race day check list:

  • Check Fluids- Oil, Coolant, Power Steering
  • Check Tire pressure
  • Fill Cool Suit cooler with water, ice and dry ice
  • RainX the windshield
  • Check radio communications
  • Check cool suit function
  • Track Time w Mr Smooth
  • And several other items

Track Time and the List to be checked twice

Attend Mandatory Drivers Meeting

Suit up Driver #1, Pete and get him into the car.

Pete getting suited up for the start of the race

Pete getting strapped in

The field of LeMONS cars get lined up to head out into the pits and onto the track for a 10:00 AM race start. Pete hops in line and takes the Electile Dysfunction Jetta out to the pits. Mike C heads up to the stands at turn 2 ready to spot. Mike K, Jon and Michelle are in the garage ready for the day of racing. Shortly after crossing the pit wall Pete attempted to accelerate onto the track. The Monday gremlin was back…the car would not accelerate. Pete brought the car back to the garage. The team lost an hour diagnosing and hunting down the issue before they were even able to start the race- 72nd out of 75 cars.

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Loudon Annoying Event Details ed24lemons May 2012

The Loudon Annoying 24 Hours of Lemons race is this weekend May 5-6.

For all of the Event Details check out Loudon Annoying 2012

Schedule of Events at NHMS

 Friday May 4 Gates open at 7:00 AM

  • Pre-Race Testing  9:00 AM – 5:00PM. Cost $150.00 per car which includes one driver. Additional drivers are $50.00.
  • Technical Inspection- Mandatory– Noon- 5:00PM. The car and at least one driver per team must be present.

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Race Test for 24 Hours of LeMONS Loudon Annoying

In preparation for the upcoming Loudon Annoying24 Hours of LeMONS endurance race on May 5-6, 2012, Mike Collier brought the Electile Dysfunction Jetta GLX to NHMS for a shakedown ensure sure the car was race ready.

Mike’s first test drive saw the ED mobile make it as far as the pits before the car failed to accelerate up to speed. The car would idle fine, however, it would not accelerate it was “dysfunctional”.

Mike put the car back on the trailer and brought it back to the shop and put it up on the lift. Mike spent the day siphoning fuel and replacing the fuel filter. He was able to get back to NHMS and the get the car on the track for the last run session with the Boston Chapter BMW CCA where the Electile Dysfunction ran well.

Catch a few laps around NHMS with Mr Smooth….Mike Collier.

Be sure to follow the blog to see how the team does in competition.

Endurance Race Preparation- Tools and Clothing

One- week to race day: time to create and verify check lists.

Example of Driver Attire

Driver Attire: Are all the items clean and packed in the race bag? Some items from Mike C, Mike K and Michelle were new and required laundering. A socks and underwear wash with mild detergent in cold water and no spin cycle yield a bunch of clean wet clothing. Nomex should not be dried with heat therefore there is a lot of laundry to hang dry. Driving suits typically require dry cleaning.

Check list:  Helmet, neck roll, sunglasses, driving suit, nomex balaclava, underwear and sock, driving gloves and shoes. License, $.

Spare pair of gloves for car fueling, hat to keep the sun off when not wearing helmet & folding chair to rest between driving sessions. Change of clothes and towel for post race shower.

Maintaining proper hydration and staying Cool are important ….

……..especially for the driver

Ultra Chiller shirt and tubing

The Team ED uses Ultra Chiller Personal Cooling equipment to keep the driver cool. The system incorporates a cooler and shirts with tubing. The cooler runs off of a 12 volt cigarette plug and pumps cool water through the shirt keeping the driver cool.

A cooler and plenty of water and Gatorade are important to keep drivers and crew well hydrated. A hat and sunglasses along staying out of the sun when not in the car are equally important.

Tools to keep Team ED and the ED Jetta on track

Spare brake pads, torque wrench, large oil filter gauge with bleeder, impact wrench, hose and chuck, jack and jack stands, brake tool, miscellaneous wrenches, pliers and channel locks

Camera’s and car mounts for capturing on track laps and garage race details

GoPro cameras and mounts

Digital cameras, PCs, USB Drive, chargers, 6 outlet power strip

Car and Paperwork

Car in trailer

Paperwork validating bill of sale and expenses, tech checklist, last year’s “good to go ” sticker

If you are interested in endurance racing and want to see how Team ED performs please follow my blog.

Artwork Car Painting Evolution on Electile Dysfunction Theme

Given that Charlie Sheen’s 15 minutes of fame waned last fall we needed to re-theme the car to make it stand out.  Since we wanted to run two Lemons races this year (the Loudon Annoying and October Hooptiefest) we needed a theme that would last the whole year (if not longer).

Back in early spring in the midst of the brutal Republican primary I threw out the idea of “Gingrinch for Prez” as a theme that would include painting the entire car lime green (so it would stand out on track), painting a caricature of Gingrich on the hood and include some Seuss-ified quotes Gingrich has made on the campaign trail.  Initial response was good, but Jonathan Porath wanted to improve the idea and after mulling it around for a bit sent out the following describing his idea for a theme.

Electile Dysfunction Theme proposition

Date: Sun, 18 Mar 2012 11:09:29 -0400
Subject: [24lemons] Of hoods, paint and other crap 

This is unquestionably the worst photoshop job I have ever done, but
what the hell. At least it gives you an idea of what's going on. The 
Gingrinch has been abandoned in favor of Electile Dysfunction 2012 
sponsored by (D)iagra and (R)ialis, now available in SuperPacs. This 
image was created using the very rough first draft sketch, poorly 
photographed in bad light and hastily colored using shoddy techniques.
I can assure you that I will put considerably more effort into the the 
real thing and that the finished job on the hood is going to come out 
much, much worse.

The plan for the sides is going to be blue with white stars on one
side and wavy red and white stripes on the other. This is easier to do
than straight stripes and hides poor masking, dented body work and
dripping paint much better. We'll letter the sides with Electile
Dysfunction 2012 along with a (R)iagra and (D)ialis (oh whatever, I'm
not going to retype the stupid things) pill.  There will be a dire
warning that "Should you experience an Electile lasting for more than
four years, it may be a symptom of PriorPres syndrome and you should
probably start drinking heavily and take a long nap." Or something.

Prep work for the body is going to be straightforward to the point of 
being nearly nonexistent. Scotchbright the existing paint, such as it 
is. Degrease, mask, a perfunctory swipe with a tack cloth that I've
been storing in my cat litter box, spray, wait, remask, spray, remask
spray, marvel at how wonderful it looks from a great distance.

That's my phoney baloney plan anyway.

Oh, as to the question that's haunting you right now: the numbers. 
They're going on the roof. Yes, it's legal. I looked it up.-Jon

Needless to say the team was enthusiastic for the theme.

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Amateur Endurance Racing 24 Hours of LeMONS

Team Electile Dysfunction (Team ED) secured an entry in the Loudon Annoying event thanks to the witty application by Pete. Now the team is tasked to make sure the Car and Drivers are ready for the seasons events.  The team purchased a car previously used for a 2011 ‘LeMONS” race which minimized the car preparation.

Team ED met in early April to start to prepare the car for the track.

Since the team is comprised of experienced and rookie LeMONs drivers it was important for each driver to verify and obtain each had a valid LeMONS membership and all of the required personal safety equipment.

This following is a high level capture of the rules and requirements to race in 24hoursoflemons events. For specific details regarding general rules, safety, requirements, eligibility, vehicle price, teams, driving and penalty rules or anything else related to the event(s) see the official 24 Hours of LeMONS site:

Driver Requirements:

  • Valid US or international Drivers License
  • LeMons Competition Membership ($100.00/driver)
  • Drivers Helmet: Undamaged, full-face Type SA helmet, Snell 2005 or better with working visor in place (it’s your head would you want to use a damaged helmet?
  • Neck Brace– minimum foam roll-type. Huthcens device, D-Cel Harnesses, HANSs devices are strongly encouraged.
  • Fire Retardant Clothing: Drivers Suit,To be worn by all drivers at all times when inside the car. Full SFI 3.2/A or FIA 8856-2000- certified fire-retardant driving suits; Socks and Undergarments: (Nomex, Carbon-X or equivalent), shoes and racing gloves: Fire-retardant FIA or SFI rated are all required.

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Team Electile Dysfunction 2012 ’24 Hours of Lemons’

Hi Classmates and Racing Fans-

This blog includes my social matrix and the tools which I will use to help you all learn about racing in the 24 Hours of Lemons Racing series and Follow team Electile Dysfunction (ED) as they prepare for and race in select races of the 24 Hours of Lemons Series.   

A song to get you in the racing mood:

Rock Feast – Highway Star

What is the 24 Hours of Lemons Race Series?

  • “A nationwide series of endurance races for cars that cost $500 or less.”
  • “It’s not just an oxymoron; it’s a breeding ground for morons. It’s where Pintos and Maserati’s battle to lap a Le Car. It’s where first-timers dice with Nomex-soiling pros.”

Spending more than $500.00 on the car is cheating and you risk having your car purchased by the organizers for $500.00. If the other competitors do not like your team/car you risk having it crushed.

Who is Team ED:

Team ED is composed of five Audi club instructors, Michelle Collier (4racerx) Peter Barada (designated Team Captain), Mike Collier, Mike Kelly and Jon Porath, who each have driving experience, a great sense of humor, and can work together on and off the track to prep/repair the car. All of these skills and more are required of the team. This is not your ordinary car race; driving experience is not a top requirement. Team work, the desire to have fun and the ability to deal with wacky rules and penalties are a must.

How did this group of five educated people get together and enter a car into this wacky race series? Team ED purchased the Sheen Machine, a Jetta VRX for $300.00. The car was prepped and raced by three of this years Team ED, who talked Mike Kelly and myself into joining the adventure.

Car Check, Team Check……Race….

The LeMONs race organizers decide who they want to race in their events. Race experience, driving schools or competitive race licences are not required. A creative race application is imperative, the number of applicants exceed the number of cars allowed and the event masters who want to have a fun event determine who will race by the application the team submits.

Team ED race application: 

“In keeping with the “Electile Dysfunction” theme shown in this year’s race for the Republican nomination, we feel that NH will be a key battleground state and want to drum up pointless support for Newt “I got better” Gingrinch.  In addition to other (probably illegal) campaign plans we believe entering a car in your prestigious “Loudon Annoying” race at NHMS is sheer genius!  The timing of your event can’t be better as by then Newt should be able to enter the Republican Convention with enough delegates (if he’s not dead yet) to make the convention entertaining with the hope that Newt will try to crush Romney’s perfectly coiffed head (leading to hours of fodder for the Daily Show).

Given the fun we all had as “Sheen’s Machine” racing at Stafford last year, we’re planning to send the same crack(pot) team comprising Audi Club instructors along with the same 1994 Jetta GLX to NHMS to do battle with the rest of the “political” field, hopefully bringing more insanity to this year’s Presidential Election.

Of course looks are everything, and our thoughts this year are to go with a Seuss-ified lime green scheme, add plenty of red white and blue pointless political decorations, but as our campaign funds will most likely get diverted to prepare the car, in all likelihood we’ll resort to an 11th hour rattle-can decoration that will blend in with the rest of the field.

Our belief is that Politics should be entertaining, and feel that keeping Gingrinch in the running (like the car) makes for great political theater!”

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