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This is a blog about a team of 6 high performance North Atlantic Audi Club driving instructors and their entry into the 24 hours of LeMONs race series. It follows the team from their application through the adventures they encounter during preparation, racing and the aftermath.

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24 Hours of LeMONS Loudon Annoying 2012 Results

Team Electile Dysfunction finished the race above 500

Plagued by two day one gremlins which caused the team to start almost one hour after the official start in 72nd position out of 75 cars. The team then lost another hour on Saturday do to a leak. In spite of the issues the team kept their spirits high and drove cleanly, smoothly and with intensity to finish in 31st place. The team is looking forward to another 24 Hours of LeMONS race.

The Checkered Flag

The Checkered Flag signaling the end of the Loudon Annoying Race

Complete Loudon Annoying 2012 Finishers Results Listing.

Complete break down of results by the hour.

A few other notable results including the overall winner according to the official 24 Hours of LeMONs website:

  • Winner on Laps #106 Bill Danger and the Road Hazzards (1989 Honda Accord, Boston)
  • Winner on Index of Effluency #90 Speedycop & The Gang of Outlaws (1996 Suzuki X-90, Brandywine MD)
  • Winner, Class A (The Good) #15 Booby Prize Racing (1997 Nissan 240sx, Buffaloish NY)
  • Winner, Class B (The Bad) #106 Bill Danger and the Road Hazzards (1989 Honda Accord, Boston)
  • Winner, Class C (The Ugly) #917 PunisherGP (1989 Peugeot 405 Mi16, South Salem NY)
  • Organizer’s Choice #5 Team Mean Girls (1997 Honda Civil, Groton CT)
  • Most Heroic Fix #121 Back To the Future in a VW (87 VW Scirocco, Tewksbury MA)
  • Judges’ Choice #16 Chev-itte Where The Sun Don’t Shine (1986 Chevrolet Chevette, Hebron CT)
  • I Got Screwed #944 Got Wood? (1986 Porsche 944, Pelham NH)
  • Ted Kennedy “I Wish My Car Was a Boat” Award #91 Volvo Vikings (1995 Volvo 850, Rocky Hill)

Check out Team Electile Dysfunction pictures on Pinterest.

Check out Loudon Annoying pictures on Facebook

Check out Jay Lamm’s Loudon Annoying LeMONS Wrapup…Includes video commentary  of the race winners and penalties awards.

A day at the races: 24 Hours of LeMONs – Loudon Annoying 2012

Day One Living up to its name Electile Dysfunction

Saturday morning the ED Jetta is nestled and waiting for drivers in Garage 6. The drivers arrive and begin the race day preparation.

Race day check list:

  • Check Fluids- Oil, Coolant, Power Steering
  • Check Tire pressure
  • Fill Cool Suit cooler with water, ice and dry ice
  • RainX the windshield
  • Check radio communications
  • Check cool suit function
  • Track Time w Mr Smooth
  • And several other items

Track Time and the List to be checked twice

Attend Mandatory Drivers Meeting

Suit up Driver #1, Pete and get him into the car.

Pete getting suited up for the start of the race

Pete getting strapped in

The field of LeMONS cars get lined up to head out into the pits and onto the track for a 10:00 AM race start. Pete hops in line and takes the Electile Dysfunction Jetta out to the pits. Mike C heads up to the stands at turn 2 ready to spot. Mike K, Jon and Michelle are in the garage ready for the day of racing. Shortly after crossing the pit wall Pete attempted to accelerate onto the track. The Monday gremlin was back…the car would not accelerate. Pete brought the car back to the garage. The team lost an hour diagnosing and hunting down the issue before they were even able to start the race- 72nd out of 75 cars.

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Amateur Endurance Racing 24 Hours of LeMONS

Team Electile Dysfunction (Team ED) secured an entry in the Loudon Annoying event thanks to the witty application by Pete. Now the team is tasked to make sure the Car and Drivers are ready for the seasons events.  The team purchased a car previously used for a 2011 ‘LeMONS” race which minimized the car preparation.

Team ED met in early April to start to prepare the car for the track.

Since the team is comprised of experienced and rookie LeMONs drivers it was important for each driver to verify and obtain each had a valid LeMONS membership and all of the required personal safety equipment.

This following is a high level capture of the rules and requirements to race in 24hoursoflemons events. For specific details regarding general rules, safety, requirements, eligibility, vehicle price, teams, driving and penalty rules or anything else related to the event(s) see the official 24 Hours of LeMONS site:

Driver Requirements:

  • Valid US or international Drivers License
  • LeMons Competition Membership ($100.00/driver)
  • Drivers Helmet: Undamaged, full-face Type SA helmet, Snell 2005 or better with working visor in place (it’s your head would you want to use a damaged helmet?
  • Neck Brace– minimum foam roll-type. Huthcens device, D-Cel Harnesses, HANSs devices are strongly encouraged.
  • Fire Retardant Clothing: Drivers Suit,To be worn by all drivers at all times when inside the car. Full SFI 3.2/A or FIA 8856-2000- certified fire-retardant driving suits; Socks and Undergarments: (Nomex, Carbon-X or equivalent), shoes and racing gloves: Fire-retardant FIA or SFI rated are all required.

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Team Electile Dysfunction 2012 ’24 Hours of Lemons’

Hi Classmates and Racing Fans-

This blog includes my social matrix and the tools which I will use to help you all learn about racing in the 24 Hours of Lemons Racing series and Follow team Electile Dysfunction (ED) as they prepare for and race in select races of the 24 Hours of Lemons Series.   

A song to get you in the racing mood:

Rock Feast – Highway Star

What is the 24 Hours of Lemons Race Series?

  • “A nationwide series of endurance races for cars that cost $500 or less.”
  • “It’s not just an oxymoron; it’s a breeding ground for morons. It’s where Pintos and Maserati’s battle to lap a Le Car. It’s where first-timers dice with Nomex-soiling pros.”

Spending more than $500.00 on the car is cheating and you risk having your car purchased by the organizers for $500.00. If the other competitors do not like your team/car you risk having it crushed.

Who is Team ED:

Team ED is composed of five Audi club instructors, Michelle Collier (4racerx) Peter Barada (designated Team Captain), Mike Collier, Mike Kelly and Jon Porath, who each have driving experience, a great sense of humor, and can work together on and off the track to prep/repair the car. All of these skills and more are required of the team. This is not your ordinary car race; driving experience is not a top requirement. Team work, the desire to have fun and the ability to deal with wacky rules and penalties are a must.

How did this group of five educated people get together and enter a car into this wacky race series? Team ED purchased the Sheen Machine, a Jetta VRX for $300.00. The car was prepped and raced by three of this years Team ED, who talked Mike Kelly and myself into joining the adventure.

Car Check, Team Check……Race….

The LeMONs race organizers decide who they want to race in their events. Race experience, driving schools or competitive race licences are not required. A creative race application is imperative, the number of applicants exceed the number of cars allowed and the event masters who want to have a fun event determine who will race by the application the team submits.

Team ED race application: 

“In keeping with the “Electile Dysfunction” theme shown in this year’s race for the Republican nomination, we feel that NH will be a key battleground state and want to drum up pointless support for Newt “I got better” Gingrinch.  In addition to other (probably illegal) campaign plans we believe entering a car in your prestigious “Loudon Annoying” race at NHMS is sheer genius!  The timing of your event can’t be better as by then Newt should be able to enter the Republican Convention with enough delegates (if he’s not dead yet) to make the convention entertaining with the hope that Newt will try to crush Romney’s perfectly coiffed head (leading to hours of fodder for the Daily Show).

Given the fun we all had as “Sheen’s Machine” racing at Stafford last year, we’re planning to send the same crack(pot) team comprising Audi Club instructors along with the same 1994 Jetta GLX to NHMS to do battle with the rest of the “political” field, hopefully bringing more insanity to this year’s Presidential Election.

Of course looks are everything, and our thoughts this year are to go with a Seuss-ified lime green scheme, add plenty of red white and blue pointless political decorations, but as our campaign funds will most likely get diverted to prepare the car, in all likelihood we’ll resort to an 11th hour rattle-can decoration that will blend in with the rest of the field.

Our belief is that Politics should be entertaining, and feel that keeping Gingrinch in the running (like the car) makes for great political theater!”

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