This is a blog about a team of 6 high performance North Atlantic Audi Club driving instructors and their entry into the 24 hours of LeMONs race series. It follows the team from their application through the adventures they encounter during preparation, racing and the aftermath.
Day One Living up to its name Electile Dysfunction
Saturday morning the ED Jetta is nestled and waiting for drivers in Garage 6. The drivers arrive and begin the race day preparation.
Race day check list:
- Check Fluids- Oil, Coolant, Power Steering
- Check Tire pressure
- Fill Cool Suit cooler with water, ice and dry ice
- RainX the windshield
- Check radio communications
- Check cool suit function
- Track Time w Mr Smooth
- And several other items
Attend Mandatory Drivers Meeting
Suit up Driver #1, Pete and get him into the car.
The field of LeMONS cars get lined up to head out into the pits and onto the track for a 10:00 AM race start. Pete hops in line and takes the Electile Dysfunction Jetta out to the pits. Mike C heads up to the stands at turn 2 ready to spot. Mike K, Jon and Michelle are in the garage ready for the day of racing. Shortly after crossing the pit wall Pete attempted to accelerate onto the track. The Monday gremlin was back…the car would not accelerate. Pete brought the car back to the garage. The team lost an hour diagnosing and hunting down the issue before they were even able to start the race- 72nd out of 75 cars.
The Loudon Annoying 24 Hours of Lemons race is this weekend May 5-6.
For all of the Event Details check out Loudon Annoying 2012
Schedule of Events at NHMS
Friday May 4 Gates open at 7:00 AM
- Pre-Race Testing 9:00 AM – 5:00PM. Cost $150.00 per car which includes one driver. Additional drivers are $50.00.
- Technical Inspection- Mandatory– Noon- 5:00PM. The car and at least one driver per team must be present.
In preparation for the upcoming Loudon Annoying, 24 Hours of LeMONS endurance race on May 5-6, 2012, Mike Collier brought the Electile Dysfunction Jetta GLX to NHMS for a shakedown ensure sure the car was race ready.
Mike’s first test drive saw the ED mobile make it as far as the pits before the car failed to accelerate up to speed. The car would idle fine, however, it would not accelerate it was “dysfunctional”.
Mike put the car back on the trailer and brought it back to the shop and put it up on the lift. Mike spent the day siphoning fuel and replacing the fuel filter. He was able to get back to NHMS and the get the car on the track for the last run session with the Boston Chapter BMW CCA where the Electile Dysfunction ran well.
Catch a few laps around NHMS with Mr Smooth….Mike Collier.
Be sure to follow the blog to see how the team does in competition.
One- week to race day: time to create and verify check lists.
Driver Attire: Are all the items clean and packed in the race bag? Some items from Mike C, Mike K and Michelle were new and required laundering. A socks and underwear wash with mild detergent in cold water and no spin cycle yield a bunch of clean wet clothing. Nomex should not be dried with heat therefore there is a lot of laundry to hang dry. Driving suits typically require dry cleaning.
Check list: Helmet, neck roll, sunglasses, driving suit, nomex balaclava, underwear and sock, driving gloves and shoes. License, $.
Spare pair of gloves for car fueling, hat to keep the sun off when not wearing helmet & folding chair to rest between driving sessions. Change of clothes and towel for post race shower.
Maintaining proper hydration and staying Cool are important ….
……..especially for the driver
The Team ED uses Ultra Chiller Personal Cooling equipment to keep the driver cool. The system incorporates a cooler and shirts with tubing. The cooler runs off of a 12 volt cigarette plug and pumps cool water through the shirt keeping the driver cool.
A cooler and plenty of water and Gatorade are important to keep drivers and crew well hydrated. A hat and sunglasses along staying out of the sun when not in the car are equally important.
Tools to keep Team ED and the ED Jetta on track
Spare brake pads, torque wrench, large oil filter gauge with bleeder, impact wrench, hose and chuck, jack and jack stands, brake tool, miscellaneous wrenches, pliers and channel locks
Camera’s and car mounts for capturing on track laps and garage race details
GoPro cameras and mounts
Digital cameras, PCs, USB Drive, chargers, 6 outlet power strip
Car and Paperwork
Car in trailer
Paperwork validating bill of sale and expenses, tech checklist, last year’s “good to go ” sticker
If you are interested in endurance racing and want to see how Team ED performs please follow my blog.
Given that Charlie Sheen’s 15 minutes of fame waned last fall we needed to re-theme the car to make it stand out. Since we wanted to run two Lemons races this year (the Loudon Annoying and October Hooptiefest) we needed a theme that would last the whole year (if not longer).
Back in early spring in the midst of the brutal Republican primary I threw out the idea of “Gingrinch for Prez” as a theme that would include painting the entire car lime green (so it would stand out on track), painting a caricature of Gingrich on the hood and include some Seuss-ified quotes Gingrich has made on the campaign trail. Initial response was good, but Jonathan Porath wanted to improve the idea and after mulling it around for a bit sent out the following describing his idea for a theme.
Electile Dysfunction Theme proposition
Date: Sun, 18 Mar 2012 11:09:29 -0400 Subject: [24lemons] Of hoods, paint and other crap This is unquestionably the worst photoshop job I have ever done, but what the hell. At least it gives you an idea of what's going on. The Gingrinch has been abandoned in favor of Electile Dysfunction 2012 sponsored by (D)iagra and (R)ialis, now available in SuperPacs. This image was created using the very rough first draft sketch, poorly photographed in bad light and hastily colored using shoddy techniques. I can assure you that I will put considerably more effort into the the real thing and that the finished job on the hood is going to come out much, much worse. The plan for the sides is going to be blue with white stars on one side and wavy red and white stripes on the other. This is easier to do than straight stripes and hides poor masking, dented body work and dripping paint much better. We'll letter the sides with Electile Dysfunction 2012 along with a (R)iagra and (D)ialis (oh whatever, I'm not going to retype the stupid things) pill. There will be a dire warning that "Should you experience an Electile lasting for more than four years, it may be a symptom of PriorPres syndrome and you should probably start drinking heavily and take a long nap." Or something. Prep work for the body is going to be straightforward to the point of being nearly nonexistent. Scotchbright the existing paint, such as it is. Degrease, mask, a perfunctory swipe with a tack cloth that I've been storing in my cat litter box, spray, wait, remask, spray, remask spray, marvel at how wonderful it looks from a great distance. That's my phoney baloney plan anyway. Oh, as to the question that's haunting you right now: the numbers. They're going on the roof. Yes, it's legal. I looked it up.-Jon
Needless to say the team was enthusiastic for the theme.
Team Electile Dysfunction (Team ED) secured an entry in the Loudon Annoying event thanks to the witty application by Pete. Now the team is tasked to make sure the Car and Drivers are ready for the seasons events. The team purchased a car previously used for a 2011 ‘LeMONS” race which minimized the car preparation.
Team ED met in early April to start to prepare the car for the track.
Since the team is comprised of experienced and rookie LeMONs drivers it was important for each driver to verify and obtain each had a valid LeMONS membership and all of the required personal safety equipment.
This following is a high level capture of the rules and requirements to race in 24hoursoflemons events. For specific details regarding general rules, safety, requirements, eligibility, vehicle price, teams, driving and penalty rules or anything else related to the event(s) see the official 24 Hours of LeMONS site:
- Valid US or international Drivers License
- LeMons Competition Membership ($100.00/driver)
- Drivers Helmet: Undamaged, full-face Type SA helmet, Snell 2005 or better with working visor in place (it’s your head would you want to use a damaged helmet?
- Neck Brace– minimum foam roll-type. Huthcens device, D-Cel Harnesses, HANSs devices are strongly encouraged.
- Fire Retardant Clothing: Drivers Suit,To be worn by all drivers at all times when inside the car. Full SFI 3.2/A or FIA 8856-2000- certified fire-retardant driving suits; Socks and Undergarments: (Nomex, Carbon-X or equivalent), shoes and racing gloves: Fire-retardant FIA or SFI rated are all required.
Hi Classmates and Racing Fans-
This blog includes my social matrix and the tools which I will use to help you all learn about racing in the 24 Hours of Lemons Racing series and Follow team Electile Dysfunction (ED) as they prepare for and race in select races of the 24 Hours of Lemons Series.
A song to get you in the racing mood:
What is the 24 Hours of Lemons Race Series?
- “A nationwide series of endurance races for cars that cost $500 or less.”
- “It’s not just an oxymoron; it’s a breeding ground for morons. It’s where Pintos and Maserati’s battle to lap a Le Car. It’s where first-timers dice with Nomex-soiling pros.”
Spending more than $500.00 on the car is cheating and you risk having your car purchased by the organizers for $500.00. If the other competitors do not like your team/car you risk having it crushed.
Who is Team ED:
Team ED is composed of five Audi club instructors, Michelle Collier (4racerx) Follow @4racerx, Peter Barada (designated Team Captain), Mike Collier, Mike Kelly and Jon Porath, who each have driving experience, a great sense of humor, and can work together on and off the track to prep/repair the car. All of these skills and more are required of the team. This is not your ordinary car race; driving experience is not a top requirement. Team work, the desire to have fun and the ability to deal with wacky rules and penalties are a must.
How did this group of five educated people get together and enter a car into this wacky race series? Team ED purchased the Sheen Machine, a Jetta VRX for $300.00. The car was prepped and raced by three of this years Team ED, who talked Mike Kelly and myself into joining the adventure.
Car Check, Team Check……Race….
The LeMONs race organizers decide who they want to race in their events. Race experience, driving schools or competitive race licences are not required. A creative race application is imperative, the number of applicants exceed the number of cars allowed and the event masters who want to have a fun event determine who will race by the application the team submits.
Team ED race application:
“In keeping with the “Electile Dysfunction” theme shown in this year’s race for the Republican nomination, we feel that NH will be a key battleground state and want to drum up pointless support for Newt “I got better” Gingrinch. In addition to other (probably illegal) campaign plans we believe entering a car in your prestigious “Loudon Annoying” race at NHMS is sheer genius! The timing of your event can’t be better as by then Newt should be able to enter the Republican Convention with enough delegates (if he’s not dead yet) to make the convention entertaining with the hope that Newt will try to crush Romney’s perfectly coiffed head (leading to hours of fodder for the Daily Show).
Given the fun we all had as “Sheen’s Machine” racing at Stafford last year, we’re planning to send the same crack(pot) team comprising Audi Club instructors along with the same 1994 Jetta GLX to NHMS to do battle with the rest of the “political” field, hopefully bringing more insanity to this year’s Presidential Election.
Of course looks are everything, and our thoughts this year are to go with a Seuss-ified lime green scheme, add plenty of red white and blue pointless political decorations, but as our campaign funds will most likely get diverted to prepare the car, in all likelihood we’ll resort to an 11th hour rattle-can decoration that will blend in with the rest of the field.
Our belief is that Politics should be entertaining, and feel that keeping Gingrinch in the running (like the car) makes for great political theater!”